Finding peace
by free-from-ed
Summary: Charles asks Erik to stay at the mansion a few days, to talk things over. If only he could get Erik to understand his side of things. Erik agrees, but begins to feel confusing feelings after a night of drinking. Cherik goodness!
1. Chapter 1

Charles looked over at Erik. He could see the hurt and pain in his eyes. So much suffering, and anger, and rage. He stopped himself from delving in, seeing what was beyond, even though he desperately wanted to, desperately wanted to soothe that pain, let him know there was hope, things could be better in the future.

Erik stood there staring blankly, or so he thought, trying not to give anything away. He couldn't let him in, couldn't let Charles see, all the emotions he felt inside, they were too deep, too much for one man to ask another man to bear. There was something different about Charles though, he willingly sought out the darkest moments of others, to be willing to go into that dark, and be there with someone, have a look around, and begin to find a way to climb out. Part of Erik wanted that more than anything, but he couldn't trust it, couldn't trust that Charles wouldn't just leave him like all the rest. Couldn't trust that Charles wouldn't be taken from him. He nearly had been, by Erik's own doing, and he could not forgive himself for that. Which is why he had to leave. He cared for Charles too much, it was dangerous for Erik to be around him.

Charles went to speak, he could see an internal struggle going on in his friend's mind. "What's troubling you Erik?"

"It's time for me to leave, old friend."

"Again? We've only just reunited, I was hoping you would stay around longer this time. Help me set the school back up. Talk."

"Talk, that's all you ever want to do Charles. I need to take action. We can't let the humans keep getting away with this. There must be consequences, they must know our power, if we are to be safe."

This familiar refrain grated on Charles. As much as he cared for Erik, they disagreed on the key point of how best to work on integrating mutants and humans in society. And it mattered. As much as sometimes he tried to convince himself that it didn't, violence was not the answer, love, compassion, understanding, these were the tools Charles wanted to use to build his better world. "Just stay for a few more days, let's catch up, play some chess, the world can wait a few days."

"I'll still be off soon, whether now, or a few days, it won't change anything."

"Great, then you'll stay." Charles was pleased this conversation had gone this way. He just needed more time. He didn't know if there was a way to get through to Erik, to connect, and part of him didn't understand why he had such a drive to do so. Sure, Erik was a powerful mutant, and would be a great ally, or a powerful foe at times, but there was something so broken about him, that drew Charles in. Something, that if he could just help Erik begin to mend, maybe their future wouldn't need to diverge. Maybe they could find more common ground. Charles already had his x-men, he took Erik's point on the need for power and force at times, to protect oneself, his children and the innocent. Maybe Erik would come to see his point of view as well. He just needed more time.

"Just a few days then. I hope that's not you in my head changing my mind Charles!"

They chuckled as they wandered off together from the patio back towards the house. Erik was glad to be staying, a brief pause in his drive for revenge. There was something calming in being around Charles, something that made him think being at peace was possible. He quickly shrugged those thoughts out of his mind, as the wave of children entered the halls after their lessons.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that evening, Erik found an old bottle of scotch, and headed to the professor's study. He knew he would find the professor there, tired after a long day.

"Shall we?" Erik interrupted.

Charles looked up from what looked like a mountain of paperwork, bleary eyed. "Yes, I could use a break. Setting the school back up has more paperwork than I remember!"

"You work too hard Charles. And I don't just mean the paperwork. When do you take time for yourself?"

"I'm touched Erik, you're concerned for me."

"Well, I just think you put so much time and energy into others, that you should take some for yourself too."

"It's a good thing that an old friend showed up with some scotch and good company then!" Charles tried to side step the issue, he didn't like to think of himself, it was easier to focus on others. When did Erik get so perceptive?

"Yes indeed. Scotch?"

"Please."

They sat there sipping away, talking about this or that. It was late by the time Charles realised the bottle was half empty, and was feeling a little light headed.

"Erik, we seem to have made quite a dent in the bottle tonight. Perhaps it's time to call it a night?"

"Getting weak in your old age, Charles? Maybe this is just what we needed, to block out the world for a bit, to be just us."

"But it's not just us, is it. The world will still be there when the scotch wears off." Charles couldn't bring himself to forget the broader implications, the need to change Erik, to just make him see. If only he could slip into his mind, just for a few moments.

"Charles, are you poking around in here?"

"I'm sorry my friend, the scotch seems to have gotten to me."

"It's quite alright, what have you found?"

"Well, that's a rather relaxed approach to me invading your privacy! I was expecting more resistance, if you're not opposed…"

"At this moment, I can't think of anything I would want more, than to have you inside m.. my head, Charles." Erik blushed slightly, and Charles was taken aback, by the brief glimpse of something like desire, that flickered in Erik's mind.

"Erik, I.. I think we've had a bit much to drink, my friend."

Erik, realising what Charles was seeing, let down his walls, just a little. He allowed Charles in, deeper. "We have, and I'm glad. I want y.."

"You're drunk."

"Yes, but so are you."

"Let's pick this up in the morning. I think we've both had a bit much, and clearer heads will prevail."

"Do you ever let anyone in your head, Charles?"

"Well, not many people can get in my head."

"Would you let me in, so I can have a look around, see what you see, feel what you feel. Can you do that?"

"I mean, yes it's possible."

"It's only fair. You've seen what I see, what I want. Let me see who's behind your closed doors."

Charles hesitated, not sure if this was a great idea, but something in him wanted to be closer to Erik, wanted to let him know Charles, in all his depths. "I'll try." Charles took a deep breath, and touching his hands to Erik's temples, he focussed on drawing Erik out, into his mind, letting him walk through the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

_Charles?_

 _I'm here Erik._

 _What is this place?_

 _This is my home, my place of centre. All around me, are the voices, the others, but here, on this stage, this is just for me._

Erik and Charles walked around in slow circles, pacing, sizing the other up.

 _So, here is where you come for peace. What peace do you find, Charles, in this world filled with violence?_

 _I find a great deal of peace, when I see the good still in people. Like the good I see in you, Erik._

 _Memories, distant memories, what good is that._

 _It's more than that Erik._

A brief flash of something passed by Erik. _What was that?_

 _That's what I feel, when I think of you, when I think of the good in you._

Warmth, and tenderness began to surround Erik. Charles was suddenly right in front of him, face to face.

 _That's for me?_ Erik did not know how to process this information. Charles did care, a lot.

 _It's all for you Erik. Everything I feel, everything I do to make you stay, to make you understand, I want to help you Erik, I need to help you, so I can help myself._

 _Help yourself?_

 _I can no longer imagine a world without you Erik, and I couldn't bear to lose you._

The words rang in Erik's ears, echoing his own. And then he noticed something else, something more. Desire. He looked up at Charles, who was staring openly at him, willing him to see how much he cares, how sincerely he meant what he was saying.

 _I care for you Erik. More than you know._

Erik snapped back, out of Charles head, with a disorienting force.

"I.. I'm sorry." Erik spluttered, sliding back on the couch, away from Charles.

Charles was quick to close the distance between them, wheeling forward. For those not used to telepathy, the experience could be overwhelming, and Erik looked like he was pitted to fight or flight.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I know you're not used to experiencing that. Just give it a minute, it will settle."

Erik looked at Charles, then to the door. He no longer knew what he wanted, and his head was spinning, not just from the liquor.

"I.. I liked, what I felt, in your head." Erik managed to get out.

"And you don't know how to process that."

"No."

"Then let me help." Charles leaned in, slowly, inching towards Erik's face, his lower lip hovering just above Erik's upper lip. "Just let go, I'm here, I'll catch you."

Erik allowed himself to close he gap, and gently kissed the lips pressed before him. Desire began building inside him, and he intensified the kiss, taking, and giving, pouring his heart across into this man who was willing to look at him, and love him.

Gasping back for air, they paused, staring at each other, desire clearly outlining the features of their faces.

"Charles.. I.."

"Sshh. Tonight is not for words Erik." Charles took Erik's hands, placing them around his waist to encourage Erik to lift him out of his chair, onto the lounge. Erik obliged, before lying on top of Charles, feeling the warmth of his body beneath him, the warmth in his soul. Erik did not know what good there was in him, or what peace he could find in this world, but he knew that here, tonight with this man, he was home.


End file.
